Counseling

Counseling

May 21, 2011

Early this month we had a baraza: a whole school assembly.  The purpose of the meeting was to welcome the new students, introduce the teachers and other staff members, review all of the school rules and procedures, and then address student concerns.  Madam Massao was to speak about counseling services and invite students to come to our office.  Unfortunately, she was ill on the day of the baraza, so the task became mine.  I am fairly proficient in writing Kiswahili, so I quickly wrote a short speech, and when the time came, I delivered it.  I was a hit!  Students clapped and cheered.  Teachers congratulated me on my superb Kiswahili; I pronounced every syllable so clearly and correctly.   Maybe they were humoring me, but the students must have understood my message, because soon they began to come to the office, and I quickly realized how under qualified I was to be a counselor.

The first to come was one of my own students.  He is a quiet student and works hard, but he has missed many days due to illness.  He was returning home the next day to receive more treatment.  As he told his story, he began to tremble and I could see that he was struggling to hold back tears.  I was not as successful, because mine were freely flowing.  What do you say to a young person who tells you he has lost his hope?  There was no one else to refer him to, Madam Massao was still sick.  I was all he had at the moment so I prayed that I would say the right thing.  I tried to reassure him that there was always hope, always opportunity, no matter how difficult life might seem at the moment.  Then I suggested he repeat form 5.  His family is poor and he was concerned that they would not be able to pay school fees for an extra year.  I told him to talk to them.  He was also very discouraged about his illness.  The treatment he was receiving at the local hospital did not seem to be working and it was very difficult to study.  His doctor would not give him permission to seek treatment at a better hospital.  I told him to talk to the doctor again.  Although he did not think it would make a difference, he agreed to try.

The next week he returned with a smile on his face.  His parents agreed that it was best for him to repeat form 5 and would pay the school fees.  The headmaster approved the shift.  His doctor had given him permission to go to a hospital in Moshi for more tests.  I gave him his first test as a new form 5 student and he scored an A, the second highest grade in the class (out of 62 students). Hope, it is such a powerful thing.

My second case was even more difficult, mostly because it is so common here, especially among the girls.  This student was an o-level student so her English was not so good, but we managed to understand one another.  She had been living with her grandmother, but her grandmother chased her away because she had parents who should be supporting her.  The child went to her parents’ home but soon encountered problems with her father.  He was a drunkard and refused to pay her school fees.  He told her to go to town and earn some money.  (she is probably 14 or 15 years old).  She went to Moshi and found a job washing clothes and doing some cleaning.  When she had earned enough money, she returned to school.  However, the father did not approve of her studying and told her to leave his home.  He said he would kill her if he saw her there again.  She did not know what to do nor did I have any good solution to offer her.  I wanted to call social services or a child protective agency, but there are none, so I asked if there was another family member she might stay with or who might help her.  She said there was an aunt who might pay her school fees but only if she lived with the grandmother.  I suggested that she return to her grandmother.  She said her grandmother would not allow it. I asked her if there was a church member or neighbor she could talk to, but she said her parents did not allow her to go to church.  I was stymied.  Feeling totally ineffective and useless, I said some encouraging words and told her I would talk to Madam Massao when she returned.  When Madam returned, she called the student in and spoke to her again.  She told her to speak to the headmaster.  Sometimes students are allowed to come to school and take their exams even though they have not paid their school fees.  However, they do not receive their certificate until their debt has been paid.  As far as her home situation was concerned, if she must remain with her parents, then she should do what it takes to survive: keep quiet and stay out of her father’s way, especially when he has been drinking.  My heart is too soft to be a counselor.

Nothing in Tanzania is simple, no task is easy, even sending your child to school.  I sent Fidesta to Bigwa Sisters, a private Catholic girls’ school hoping that she would be safe there and she would have books, and resources, and teachers who cared.  What a joke!  One evening I received a covert call from Fidesta.  She said all of the students were leaving and Sister would soon be calling me, but do not let her lie to me.  I was to demand that she return all of our school fees.  The next day Sister called and said there was a problem at the school.  The science teachers had not come and the girls would not be patient (they had already been there studying with no teachers for at least 6 weeks. Impatient?)  They had all decided to leave Bigwa and go to other schools. Fidesta would be returning home.  I pretended that it was all news to me and made arrangements for Sister to return our money to my account.  I went to speak to my headmaster to see if it would still be possible for Fidesta to go to Longido, the government school to which she had been selected.  He knew the headmaster there so he called him to ask.  Fortunately, it was still possible, (six weeks late, but still possible).  Fidesta came home, we filled out the required papers, found enough money and sent her off to Longido alone.  I had bought her a good phone, but she did not want to get caught with it and expelled, so she left it with me.  I was a bit uneasy because I had no way of knowing if she had arrived safely, but eventually she borrowed someone’s phone and sent me a message.  She said Longido is a nice school but her teachers no.  I am not sure what that means; she has no teachers at Longido or the teachers are not good?   What do you have to do to get a good education here?  Our children in America are so lucky and they do not even know it.

 On a lighter note, one weekend at mass Padre said that if any of us were living together as man and wife without benefit of marriage, then we were living in sin, and we were to come to church the next Saturday to be married.  Aggie told me that 103 people came the next weekend to be married.  (103 people, I thought that was rather funny)

I now have many lizards who share my living quarters with me, small ones, not so small ones, pink ones, brown ones, even ones who talk.  Yes, it is true.  I do not know his language, but while I am sitting on my bed studying or reading in the evening, there is one who clings to the wall near me and chatters and clicks.  I do not mind the lizards because they eat other bugs, but if only I could litter box train them.  They also encourage me to use my mosquito net every night, because even though I think they are sort of cute, I do not want any of them running over top of me while I sleep.