I have been back at Mkuu now for more than a week, and at times I wonder if I ever really left. Maybe I only dreamed that I did. Was I really in America for an entire month, or was it just another crazy fantasy like the time that I dreamed that I flew home to get my hair cut at Great Clips? (maybe it was a $5.99 special). If it was a dream, then it was a very pleasant one.
America, the beautiful! So green and so clean! I did not have to wade through any mud or breathe any dust-laden air. There was always a place to put my trash, and I had electricity and hot, running water every day! I did not have to ride any buses, but if I had, I am sure that I would not have had to share my seat. There would be a space for everyone. Actually, riding in a car (or driving one; that skill must be instinctive after almost 34 years) was pure luxury. Although, I was rather embarrassed to find myself driving from one store to another across a large parking lot. In America, anything that I wanted, I am sure I could find, especially food.
Is America obsessed with food? In Tanzania, it is rare to find a small "supermarket." In the Cary area, there seems to be one on every street corner, each with aisles and aisles stocked with goods. How many brands of cereal do we really need? I must admit, I did appreciate the variety; something different to eat everyday. My first taste of non-Tanzanian food was on the plane: scrambled eggs (when did scrambled eggs become white), sausage, yogurt, fruit, and a small pancake. What a treat! Airplane food and I loved it! How sad.
The thing that bothered me most about our food, however, was that we eat too much and we waste too much. My kids took me to Jason's Deli for lunch one day, and I ordered my favorite sandwich: a reuben. There was more meat on that one sandwich than I eat here in a month. At another restaurant, I ordered a salad. It looked big enough to feed a family of six or eight. I could not even eat it all. That made me think of my little "watoto wachafu" (the dirty little children, dressed in rags, who come to my house to greet me) whose eyes light up when I give them each a finger-sized banana to eat. Imagine if they had even a portion of this food? Even now, as I write this, I am thinking about pizza, reubens, steak, ice cream, even just a small bowl of raisin bran with milk. Food in Tanzania is not very exciting, but then most people here "eat to live, not live to eat".
It was nice being back in a place where I understood the language and could actually take part in real conversations. Although, I am sure that during the early days of my visit, some of you may have detected traces of "special" English in my speech. I am happy to have seen so many of you, and I am very grateful for my friends. However, I did notice quite a big difference in casual interactions between people in each country. In Tanzania, when I go anywhere at all, people always stop to greet me. This is their custom; it is not just because I am a "mzungu." They shake my hand, maybe double hug me, and ask about my day, my health, my family, my job, and about many other things which I still consider my personal business. Then many will ask for a small handout (that is because I am a "mzungu"). Sometimes these encounters are exhausting, but I have realized that they also make me feel less isolated in a place where I really am different and alone. In America, I did a lot of walking (for fun not necessity) and as I passed people, I would smile and say "hello" or "good day." I was quite surprised by the number of people who avoided eye contact and walked by without saying a word. Are we so busy that we have forgotten how to be polite?
Before my trip, my students asked me which country I liked better, Tanzania or the United States. I told them that, of course, Tanzania is a beautiful country. The people are very friendly and the animals are amazing. However, America is my "homeplace," and I love my home. (Even though I was a bit of a nomad during my visit, because I no longer have a house of my own, but a "house" does not really make a "home"). My trip was wonderful. It was just what I needed to re-energize me for another year of service. My dad continues to improve, and on the last day of my visit, he was allowed to come home. For the first time in many years, I saw a bit of lingering color in the autumn leaves of upstate New York. I got my hair cut (at Great Clips of course) and I gained back a bit of weight. I indulged in conversations, watched TV to my heart's content, and played on the computer without racing time. It was so nice to be home.My trip back to Tanzania was interminably long (4 days): one day by car to the airport, two overnight flights through London to Dar, and then the longest leg of the journey, a ten hour bus ride from Dar to Mkuu. However, I received a very warm welcome when I finally arrived. They were all so glad that I had actually returned. A few things have changed here, most noteably, the school calendar. The opening day for A-level has been changed from October 18th to November 2nd. Not really sure why, but I find it amazing how easily and unexpectedly schedules are changed. No approval is needed from anyone. It is just "done".
Fidesta has completed her form 4 exams and now must wait until January or February for results. Then we will decide which direction her life will take. (Pray that she is accepted to A-level). In the mean time, I have sent her to Morogoro to take a short course about computers. She will stay with Victoria. She was very excited, because she has never traveled any further than Moshi.
Victoria is facing problems of her own. The house she is living in does not belong to her. The owner has rented it out, and now Victoria and the girls will have to leave. She has a brief reprieve, because the renters have asked that a wall and gate be installed around the property. Victoria will remain in the house to oversee construction. Where will she go then? She has a small plot of land but no money to build a house. Curiously, I felt an urge to help her, so I sent 500,000 TZS (about $400) with Fidesta. It should be enough to build a small two-room mud house. My only request was that Neema and Maria continue to go to school. Needless to say, Victoria was overwhelmed by the gift. She said that I was her only "good Samaritan." Many others, including family and church members, had ignored her plight.
Aggie will be taking exams in a couple of weeks, and then she will be on break until January. She has asked me if she could attend "tuition." These are extra study sessions held between terms. She has been studying very hard and really wants to succeed, so how could I say "no"? She will follow Fidesta to Morogoro and attend tuition sessions there. They will return to Mkuu after the new year.
That means it will only be me and Yuda for the holidays. He will be coming to stay at the end of November. Fidesta insisted that I make him study, cook and clean. I will, but I will also give him time to play soccer with the boys.
So what is it like being back? What do I look forward to for another year? Well, there has been no running water in my home for a few weeks now, even though the rains have returned. There is no dust, but there is plenty of mud. Mkuu welcomes me home!
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