Just had a nice visit with my Tanzanian family. Victoria, Diana, and little Maria came for a 4 day weekend. Cheryl and I met them in Moshi. Diana gave me such a big hug I could barely breathe. (That is not a common Tanzanian greeting). Victoria had tears in her eyes. But it was little Maria calling "Ruti! Ruti!" that made my day. She barely left my side the entire weekend. It was a wonderful weekend but not without event.
We caught the last bus of the evening back to Mkuu. That may have been poor planning. The bus broke down in the dark out in the middle of no where. Alternator problem. Most passengers got off to wait, but there was a very large pig running around outside, so we decided to stay on the bus while several men worked on the engine. Eventually they fixed it, but it was a bit unnerving to be sitting on a big bus as it was being pushed down a hill in hopes of clutch starting it. The trip was long and bumpy, but Maria managed to fall asleep on my lap. I was not expecting to return so late, so when we finally made it to my stop, I had to use my phone as a torch to lead my visitors home through the dark.
My Kiswahili must be improving, because I was able to have a meaningful conversation with Victoria during her visit. I have learned much more about her family. Her stories touched my heart and, once again, caused me to contemplate the reason I am here. I truly believe that I am here to do God's work. I just don't always know how I am supposed to do it. I try hard to keep my eyes open and to listen with my heart so that I will know what God wants me to do. I remind myself to suppress my urge to control things and to just let His plan unfold. However, doing this is not easy. I have many sleepless nights. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be able to leave this place, and sometimes I wonder how long I can bear to stay.
"Shida kubwa, hapa Tanzania!" Too many children without parents, mothers without fathers, fathers without mothers, grandmothers with young children to raise and no money. There is so much pain. I can feel it. I can see it. Every day I am asked for money, often by complete strangers. Children will shout as I walk by, "Mzungu, give us some money!" When young children say this, I usually stop and explain that I am just a Tanzanian teacher and I really have little money. This little bit of attention seems to satisfy them, because the next time they shout, "Good morning teacha! How are you?" (It may be 6:00 pm, but this is progress). I try not to let their asking for money bother me too much. I am a foreigner, and to poor Tanzanians, I am rich. And indeed, I probably am. "To those who much has been given, much will be expected in return." What is expected of me while I am here? What is expected of Americans? I do not know the answer, but I think that education is a key. I cannot support the whole country on my salary, but maybe I can help a few,
Diana is here to be Cheryl's house girl, but more importantly, she is here to go to school. Cheryl's church is sponsoring her to go to a private school in a nearby town. She did not pass her entrance exams to go to an O-level government school, and because her family is poor, her education had essentially ended at the age of 14. She will live with Cheryl but maybe on the weekends she will go to church with me. At last I may be able to understand what is being said.
Diana, such an angel, she has given me so much. Do you remember the footwashing story in the Bible?
One day in Morogoro, Diana was teaching me how to wash my clothes in a bucket outside. After finishing the clothes, she took my flip flops and dunked them in the dirty water. Then she started washing and scrubbing my feet. I was so surprised and humbled that all I could say was "thank you." Diana, a fatherless child, the oldest of three. She was sent by her mother to live with Victoria because her mother could not afford to feed her. Even now, to my eyes, she looks thin and small for her age, but Victoria told me that she has gained quite a bit of weight since she first arrived. It hurts my heart to think of Diana having no food to eat. But now God has given her this opportunity. She is part of His plan. I hopes she understands the magnitude of this gift. I will do my best to help her succeed.Maria! There really is something about Maria! She makes complete strangers stop and smile. She just turned 5 last week, and she is such a bright child. Remember, she taught me how to wash rice in Morogoro. She notices everything. She insisted that I wipe my hand on my skirt after shaking hands with a certain lady in the market. She corrects my Kiswahili grammar and pronunciation. She instructs me to write my numbers and letters on paper, and then she grades them. However, she always gives me a "very gud!" We have read "Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you See?" over and over. As I read to her, she insisted that I point to each word. Now she can recite it with her Tanzanian accent in the same sing song voice that I had used. When reading the book "I Love You Through and Through," she likes to point to the pictures and and explain in Kiswahili exactly what she thinks is going on. She likes to snuggle up on my lap and listen to my heart beat. It often puts her to sleep.
Poor motherless Maria! Abandoned by her real mother when she was very small. Her father turned to his mother Victoria and younger sister Aggie to help him raise his child. Beautiful Maria! What is her dream? Why to go to school of course! Everyday she goes to church with Victoria, and she sees the other children going to school. She told Bibi to let her go too, but Victoria had to tell her that there was no money for school. (Victoria only earns 20000 shiling a month working at the church. That is less than $20). The school costs 100000 shilingi a year. When Victoria told me that, I did not respond immediately. I wanted to listen for God's reply. On Monday we were in Mkuu, and Diana was getting her head shaved for school ( a requirement here in Tanzania). Maria insisted that she have her little plaits shaved off too. I had already given her a little paper notebook, a pack of pencils, some twist up crayons, and my only pencil sharpener. While buying a school bag for Diana, I saw a cute little back pack, just Maria's size. I bought it for her along with a new dress. She was so excited! God had given me my answer. When we returned home, I gave Victoria the money for Maria to go to school. Maria immediately packed her bag, and I gave her the books that she loved so much. She told Bibi that as soon as they arrived in Morogoro, Bibi was to take her right to school. It would not even matter if she were late. Maria!
Victoria, my Tanzanian sister. I can see and feel her pain. I can see the worry in her face. Mama mkubwa, the oldest sister, so many others dead. When there are problems in the family, especially with children, they come to her. She wonders what she can do. How can she care for them? She lives in the house of a relative. Aggie gives her money. Maria's father pays the electric bill. Someone else pays for the water. Victoria has purchased a plot of land for a house but wonders if she will ever be able to afford to build. She comes to visit me and what does she do, she cooks and cleans. She brought me fruit, dried salted fish (so good I even considered eating the head, but only for a moment), and a bag full of cooked leaves. I asked her what I could buy for her, and all she wanted was a prayer book that she saw at my church. We could not find it in the book store in Mkuu, so I bought her another one instead. Yesterday I talked to the nun in charge and she promised to help me find it in Moshi. I will bring it to Victoria when I go to Morogoro next time. Church and her God are her solace. With pain so deep, there is little that I can do. Maybe helping Diana and Maria has lessened her load and allowed her to see the hand of God. My sister Victoria, her burden is heavy. May she never lose her hope.This is my Tanzanian family, but still Aggie is on my mind
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